{"id":3101,"date":"2020-12-22T05:54:45","date_gmt":"2020-12-22T10:54:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/perpetualdaydreams.com\/?p=3101"},"modified":"2021-01-08T08:54:48","modified_gmt":"2021-01-08T13:54:48","slug":"iwal-15","status":"publish","type":"novel-tl","link":"https:\/\/perpetualdaydreams.com\/novel\/iwal\/iwal-15\/","title":{"rendered":"IWAL Ch 15 – The Thing I Shouldn\u2019t Easily Give Up On"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/p>\n
After crying my heart out for the whole of last night, my head felt fuzzy, and my eyelids were all swollen and heavy. But my feelings had calmed down.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d always been someone who could quickly get back up on my feet. This was probably thanks to my grandpa and grandma.<\/p>\n
Grandpa had taught me that rather than wish for what I didn\u2019t have, it was better to fully enjoy the things I had. And grandma had taught me a lot of things that supported that belief.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I was born in summer, so I spent my birthdays with my grandparents. Though there was a Japanese-style confectionary store and a small mom-and-pop candy store in the town where they lived, there weren\u2019t any cake shops. So my grandma would bake my birthday cake for me.<\/p>\n
It never turned out as beautiful as those that could be bought in stores, but I was able to experience the joys of baking a cake with my grandma, and then eating it together with my grandparents.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A cake shop wouldn\u2019t magically appear out of nowhere even if I cried and pouted about wanting a cake. But there were other ways to get a cake and have fun while I was at it.<\/p>\n
Similarly, if things didn\u2019t go the way you wanted, though you may feel sad and frustrated, you could still find ways to enjoy doing something else. That was what my grandparents always had me put into practice.<\/p>\n
That was how I was able to grow up into someone who could quickly get over a moment of upset.<\/p>\n
This chapter was brought to you by perpetualdaydreams.com<\/span><\/p>\n
My parents were always busy with work and their own hobbies. There had never been a time that they had taken me on a trip anywhere.<\/p>\n
In grade school, I heard about a classmate who\u2019d gone on a camping trip with his family during summer vacation. I was so jealous of him that I badgered my parents about wanting to go on a trip.<\/p>\n
In the end though, they still didn\u2019t take me on a trip, and left me with my grandma as planned. So when I got to grandma\u2019s house, I locked myself in my room and sulked.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When I ignored the daily morning radio exercise and continued staying in bed, grandpa finally told me, \u201cGet in the car.\u201d<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t want to go, but grandpa forcefully carried me like a sack of rice and stuffed me into his pickup truck. I fell into an even fouler mood.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Grandpa brought me to the river near their house, sat me on a stone by the river and handed me a fishing pole.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t want to do something like fishing, but grandpa patiently sat beside me and waited. When something tugged at the fishing pole, grandpa held me in his arms as he helped me reel it in. By the time we\u2019d gotten the fish, I was already smiling.<\/p>\n
We used a flat stone like a cutting board to prepare the fish, then cooked it on a portable barbecue grill that grandpa had borrowed somewhere and ate it.<\/p>\n
In that time, grandpa\u2019s neighbors who were his fishing buddies had started gathering, and there were even fishing enthusiasts who were there for the summer vacation. By then, I\u2019d completely forgotten my rotten mood and was starting to enjoy myself.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the way back, grandpa spoke to me as he was driving.<\/p>\n
\u201cShinobu, did you have fun?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah! It was really fun!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight? If you\u2019d stayed sleeping in your room, you wouldn\u2019t have known such enjoyment.<\/p>\n
You can only stay with us during summer vacations. If you just keep sulking in your room during your whole stay, what a waste of time that would have been! Instead of being sad or angry about the things you can\u2019t do, you should find joy in the things that you can.<\/p>\n
When I think of the fact that I\u2019ll be leaving for that world soon, I feel that it\u2019s not worth whatever remaining time I have to stay angry or upset. It\u2019s better to spend that time having fun with you instead. What do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGrandpa, you\u2019re leaving for that world? When? Tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHahaha! Tomorrow\u2019s a little too early. I\u2019ll hold on until you get married and I can hold my great-grandchild, so don\u2019t worry. And before that happens, let\u2019s have lots of fun playing together, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah! I\u2019ll have fun with grandpa and grandma!!\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When we got home, I learned that grandma bought some fireworks for me. The three of us lighted them up while I ate some ice cream. Grandpa then got drunk on sak\u00e9 and started saying things like, \u201cThere are times when a man shouldn\u2019t give up.\u201d I thought, \u2018That\u2019s different from what you said earlier!\u2019 and didn\u2019t understand what he meant. But.<\/p>\n
Grandpa, now I can understand what you said back then.<\/p>\n
I was sad that I couldn\u2019t go back to my original world, but that\u2019s not a reason to stay angry and sulk, to push Norn away when I finally became friends with him. That was just such a waste.<\/p>\n
Right now, the thing I shouldn\u2019t easily give up on was the life I was going to spend in this world together with Pochi and Hanako and the others.<\/p>\n
That was what you meant, right, grandpa?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I opened the window in my bedroom. The sight that greeted me was the farm that I\u2019d created, and beyond that were fields of that rice-like grass that spread as far as the eye could see.<\/p>\n
The winds were blowing hard today, and under the strong gusts, the grass all bent toward the same direction. It looked like waves in the sea.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I was going to stay and live here. I\u2019d felt like I was all alone yesterday, but I had Pochi and Hanako and the others.<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t visit my grandparents\u2019 graves anymore, but I could still pray to them from here.<\/p>\n
Besides, a new gate connected to a different world might appear someday, and from there maybe I could get back to Japan.<\/p>\n
Yeah, I\u2019ll be alright.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I resolutely took a deep breath, stuck my arms out and stretched.<\/p>\n
Then I took the dirt and grass-covered sheets off my bed and went outside.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cPochi, Hanako, Hanayo, Brian, Pyonkichi, my chickens and sheep, good morning!! Let\u2019s keep getting along well, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
I greeted the animals that were going to keep being with me from now on. Then after I did the daily distribution of their drinking water, I vigorously washed the dirty bed sheets.<\/p>\n
While I was at it, I took off my dirty clothes and washed them as well. Then I poured the cold water over my head. It was very refreshing.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The water from the pond was too cold, so I hurried to put on new clothes. As I did, a thought crossed my mind.<\/p>\n
Ever since I came here, I\u2019d been wearing the clothes I\u2019d brought from my previous world. Because the clothes here were all stiff and coarse.<\/p>\n
But if I was going to live here from now on, I had to get used to such trivial things.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Beside my favorite t-shirt hung a worn-out light brown shirt that Norn said he had worn as a child and had given to me.<\/p>\n
Since I thought they\u2019d just bog me down, I hadn\u2019t brought a lot of clothes when I moved here. So Norn gave this and other secondhand clothes to me the second time we\u2019d met.<\/p>\n
He told me that his mother had actually wanted a lot of children, so she\u2019d kept all of Norn\u2019s clothes that he\u2019d grown out of. In the end, they didn\u2019t get any more use out of them so he gave them to me. He even went rummaging through old chests for them too.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When I tried them on, they were completely baggy on me. Even the shorts, which were supposed to be knee-length, reached my calves. I had to pull on the waist cords tightly, resulting in a lot of excess cloth.<\/p>\n
They were stiff and baggy.<\/p>\n
But since I\u2019ve resolved to continue living here, these were the most appropriate clothes for me to wear.<\/p>\n
Now that I wore these clothes that were made here, I finally felt a sense of intimacy towards this world. It felt like I\u2019d been reborn.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When Genett-san arrived as usual to take the vegetables for delivery, he was surprised by my swollen eyelids. He told me to cheer up and gave me a piece of candy.<\/p>\n
With the candy rolling around in my mouth, I milked the cows and decided to drink some hot milk.<\/p>\n
Maybe put a little sugar in it to make it sweeter.<\/p>\n
When your mind wasn\u2019t working, it was best to drink something sweet.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
With how Norn was always so serious, I was sure that he would keep his promise and come visit me today.<\/p>\n
I had to meet him and listen to his story, and think about what I was going to do from now on.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t Norn\u2019s fault that the gate disappeared. Yet, because I\u2019d felt overwhelmed with my emotions yesterday, I just drove him out without even listening to what he had to say. Even though he didn\u2019t do anything wrong.<\/p>\n
First, I had to apologize for my behavior yesterday. Then I\u2019ll ask him to please continue treating me well.<\/p>\n
Once I decided on that, I started to feel a little nervous. To take my mind off of it, I worked extra hard on the farm that morning.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Norn finally arrived on a horse-drawn wagon a little after noon.<\/p>\n
He had deep bags under his eyes. Had he not been able to sleep at all after being on the receiving end of my behavior?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cNorn, look. I\u2019m trying on the shirt that you gave me. Does it look good on me?\u201d<\/p>\n
I spread my arms wide and turned around once.<\/p>\n
The clothes were obviously too baggy. Being asked if it looked good would probably trouble him. Lo and behold, Norn did indeed have a troubled look on his face as he cocked his head.<\/p>\n
But this was fine. Because this was what I\u2019d decided.<\/p>\n
This was the proof of my resolve.<\/p>\n
I will continue to live here, wearing this world\u2019s clothes and eating this world\u2019s food.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry I drove you out yesterday. I was just so overwhelmed, I didn\u2019t have the leeway to listen to your explanation. After a whole night has passed, I\u2019ve resolved to continue living here, so I\u2019d like to listen to what you have to say.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShinobu, are you forgiving me? Even though I knew about the gate, I kept quiet about it. If I\u2019d told you at the time, maybe you could have made it. I prioritized this world\u2019s matters and followed my superior\u2019s orders to deceive you.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I see. So I hadn\u2019t been imagining things when I saw that Norn looked listless back then.<\/p>\n
Even though I saw that he looked tired, I never once asked Norn what was the matter.<\/p>\n
Maybe he\u2019d been worrying about the gate.<\/p>\n
Had he been torn between being a friend to me and his superior\u2019s orders? Had he been feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place?<\/p>\n
If I had asked him, \u2018What\u2019s wrong?\u2019 back then, maybe it would have made up his mind to talk to me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sorry I never asked, Norn.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cJust forget about the thing with the gate. Besides, I\u2019ve already immigrated here. Now that this has happened, I feel like I\u2019ve finally resolved to live here. So Norn, let\u2019s continue to get along well, okay? Will you stay friends with me?\u201d<\/p>\n
I gave my best to show him a smile, even with my face all ugly because of my swollen eyelids. Norn swept me into a tight hug.<\/p>\n
Due to the height difference, my face fell onto his chest, and I could hear the beating of his heart.<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cYou cried by yourself after I went home last night, didn\u2019t you? Did you feel alone and helpless? I should have stayed with you even if you refused. I was so thoughtless, I\u2019m sorry. Thank you for still calling someone like me your friend. I\u2019ll return your words to you. I\u2019d like to stay friends with you. Please continue to treat me well.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Like this, the two of us made up.<\/p>\n
I was so relieved that tears sprung to my eyes once again. Norn\u2019s eyes looked a bit misty too, so it was fine.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I held Norn\u2019s hand as I led him into the house.<\/p>\n
I made us two cups of hot milk with sugar. Blowing on it to cool it slightly before taking a sip felt very comforting.<\/p>\n
This chapter was brought to you by perpetualdaydreams.com<\/span><\/p>\n
Norn began his story, \u201cWe noticed the changes in the gate right after you came to this world. When you passed through the gate, wasn\u2019t the journey rocky and nauseating? We\u2019d conducted dozens of tests on the gate, but that never once happened before. When one of our personnel investigated, he found that these changes were only felt on Agram\u2019s side. The people from your world never noticed any changes. Because of that, we were thankfully able to keep this matter a secret.<\/p>\n
We needed to do so because once it was judged that there was a possibility of the gate disappearing, after all visitors were advised to leave, travel through the gate would be restricted. That travel restriction could last ten years, or perhaps a hundred years. That was too unfavorable to our world. We couldn\u2019t wait for a century to pass.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Norn stopped speaking, and took a sip of the hot milk as if to calm himself.<\/p>\n
He looked nervous, both hands on the cup and fingertips unceasingly stroking the lip of it.<\/p>\n
Sensing that Norn was about to tell me something important, I nervously gulped down my drink.<\/p>\n
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