IWAL Ch 15 – The Thing I Shouldn’t Easily Give Up On

 

After crying my heart out for the whole of last night, my head felt fuzzy, and my eyelids were all swollen and heavy. But my feelings had calmed down.

I’d always been someone who could quickly get back up on my feet. This was probably thanks to my grandpa and grandma.

Grandpa had taught me that rather than wish for what I didn’t have, it was better to fully enjoy the things I had. And grandma had taught me a lot of things that supported that belief.

 

I was born in summer, so I spent my birthdays with my grandparents. Though there was a Japanese-style confectionary store and a small mom-and-pop candy store in the town where they lived, there weren’t any cake shops. So my grandma would bake my birthday cake for me.

It never turned out as beautiful as those that could be bought in stores, but I was able to experience the joys of baking a cake with my grandma, and then eating it together with my grandparents.

 

A cake shop wouldn’t magically appear out of nowhere even if I cried and pouted about wanting a cake. But there were other ways to get a cake and have fun while I was at it.

Similarly, if things didn’t go the way you wanted, though you may feel sad and frustrated, you could still find ways to enjoy doing something else. That was what my grandparents always had me put into practice.

That was how I was able to grow up into someone who could quickly get over a moment of upset.

This chapter was brought to you by perpetualdaydreams.com

My parents were always busy with work and their own hobbies. There had never been a time that they had taken me on a trip anywhere.

In grade school, I heard about a classmate who’d gone on a camping trip with his family during summer vacation. I was so jealous of him that I badgered my parents about wanting to go on a trip.

In the end though, they still didn’t take me on a trip, and left me with my grandma as planned. So when I got to grandma’s house, I locked myself in my room and sulked.

 

When I ignored the daily morning radio exercise and continued staying in bed, grandpa finally told me, “Get in the car.”

I didn’t want to go, but grandpa forcefully carried me like a sack of rice and stuffed me into his pickup truck. I fell into an even fouler mood.

 

Grandpa brought me to the river near their house, sat me on a stone by the river and handed me a fishing pole.

I didn’t want to do something like fishing, but grandpa patiently sat beside me and waited. When something tugged at the fishing pole, grandpa held me in his arms as he helped me reel it in. By the time we’d gotten the fish, I was already smiling.

We used a flat stone like a cutting board to prepare the fish, then cooked it on a portable barbecue grill that grandpa had borrowed somewhere and ate it.

In that time, grandpa’s neighbors who were his fishing buddies had started gathering, and there were even fishing enthusiasts who were there for the summer vacation. By then, I’d completely forgotten my rotten mood and was starting to enjoy myself.

 

On the way back, grandpa spoke to me as he was driving.

“Shinobu, did you have fun?”

“Yeah! It was really fun!”

“Right? If you’d stayed sleeping in your room, you wouldn’t have known such enjoyment.

You can only stay with us during summer vacations. If you just keep sulking in your room during your whole stay, what a waste of time that would have been! Instead of being sad or angry about the things you can’t do, you should find joy in the things that you can.

When I think of the fact that I’ll be leaving for that world soon, I feel that it’s not worth whatever remaining time I have to stay angry or upset. It’s better to spend that time having fun with you instead. What do you think?”

“Grandpa, you’re leaving for that world? When? Tomorrow?”

“Hahaha! Tomorrow’s a little too early. I’ll hold on until you get married and I can hold my great-grandchild, so don’t worry. And before that happens, let’s have lots of fun playing together, okay?”

“Yeah! I’ll have fun with grandpa and grandma!!”

 

When we got home, I learned that grandma bought some fireworks for me. The three of us lighted them up while I ate some ice cream. Grandpa then got drunk on saké and started saying things like, “There are times when a man shouldn’t give up.” I thought, ‘That’s different from what you said earlier!’ and didn’t understand what he meant. But.

Grandpa, now I can understand what you said back then.

I was sad that I couldn’t go back to my original world, but that’s not a reason to stay angry and sulk, to push Norn away when I finally became friends with him. That was just such a waste.

Right now, the thing I shouldn’t easily give up on was the life I was going to spend in this world together with Pochi and Hanako and the others.

That was what you meant, right, grandpa?

 

I opened the window in my bedroom. The sight that greeted me was the farm that I’d created, and beyond that were fields of that rice-like grass that spread as far as the eye could see.

The winds were blowing hard today, and under the strong gusts, the grass all bent toward the same direction. It looked like waves in the sea.

 

I was going to stay and live here. I’d felt like I was all alone yesterday, but I had Pochi and Hanako and the others.

I couldn’t visit my grandparents’ graves anymore, but I could still pray to them from here.

Besides, a new gate connected to a different world might appear someday, and from there maybe I could get back to Japan.

Yeah, I’ll be alright.

 

I resolutely took a deep breath, stuck my arms out and stretched.

Then I took the dirt and grass-covered sheets off my bed and went outside.

 

“Pochi, Hanako, Hanayo, Brian, Pyonkichi, my chickens and sheep, good morning!! Let’s keep getting along well, okay?”

I greeted the animals that were going to keep being with me from now on. Then after I did the daily distribution of their drinking water, I vigorously washed the dirty bed sheets.

While I was at it, I took off my dirty clothes and washed them as well. Then I poured the cold water over my head. It was very refreshing.

 

The water from the pond was too cold, so I hurried to put on new clothes. As I did, a thought crossed my mind.

Ever since I came here, I’d been wearing the clothes I’d brought from my previous world. Because the clothes here were all stiff and coarse.

But if I was going to live here from now on, I had to get used to such trivial things.

 

Beside my favorite t-shirt hung a worn-out light brown shirt that Norn said he had worn as a child and had given to me.

Since I thought they’d just bog me down, I hadn’t brought a lot of clothes when I moved here. So Norn gave this and other secondhand clothes to me the second time we’d met.

He told me that his mother had actually wanted a lot of children, so she’d kept all of Norn’s clothes that he’d grown out of. In the end, they didn’t get any more use out of them so he gave them to me. He even went rummaging through old chests for them too.

 

When I tried them on, they were completely baggy on me. Even the shorts, which were supposed to be knee-length, reached my calves. I had to pull on the waist cords tightly, resulting in a lot of excess cloth.

They were stiff and baggy.

But since I’ve resolved to continue living here, these were the most appropriate clothes for me to wear.

Now that I wore these clothes that were made here, I finally felt a sense of intimacy towards this world. It felt like I’d been reborn.

 

When Genett-san arrived as usual to take the vegetables for delivery, he was surprised by my swollen eyelids. He told me to cheer up and gave me a piece of candy.

With the candy rolling around in my mouth, I milked the cows and decided to drink some hot milk.

Maybe put a little sugar in it to make it sweeter.

When your mind wasn’t working, it was best to drink something sweet.

 

With how Norn was always so serious, I was sure that he would keep his promise and come visit me today.

I had to meet him and listen to his story, and think about what I was going to do from now on.

It wasn’t Norn’s fault that the gate disappeared. Yet, because I’d felt overwhelmed with my emotions yesterday, I just drove him out without even listening to what he had to say. Even though he didn’t do anything wrong.

First, I had to apologize for my behavior yesterday. Then I’ll ask him to please continue treating me well.

Once I decided on that, I started to feel a little nervous. To take my mind off of it, I worked extra hard on the farm that morning.

 

Norn finally arrived on a horse-drawn wagon a little after noon.

He had deep bags under his eyes. Had he not been able to sleep at all after being on the receiving end of my behavior?

 

“Norn, look. I’m trying on the shirt that you gave me. Does it look good on me?”

I spread my arms wide and turned around once.

The clothes were obviously too baggy. Being asked if it looked good would probably trouble him. Lo and behold, Norn did indeed have a troubled look on his face as he cocked his head.

But this was fine. Because this was what I’d decided.

This was the proof of my resolve.

I will continue to live here, wearing this world’s clothes and eating this world’s food.

 

“I’m sorry I drove you out yesterday. I was just so overwhelmed, I didn’t have the leeway to listen to your explanation. After a whole night has passed, I’ve resolved to continue living here, so I’d like to listen to what you have to say.”

“Shinobu, are you forgiving me? Even though I knew about the gate, I kept quiet about it. If I’d told you at the time, maybe you could have made it. I prioritized this world’s matters and followed my superior’s orders to deceive you.”

 

I see. So I hadn’t been imagining things when I saw that Norn looked listless back then.

Even though I saw that he looked tired, I never once asked Norn what was the matter.

Maybe he’d been worrying about the gate.

Had he been torn between being a friend to me and his superior’s orders? Had he been feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place?

If I had asked him, ‘What’s wrong?’ back then, maybe it would have made up his mind to talk to me.

I’m sorry I never asked, Norn.

 

“Just forget about the thing with the gate. Besides, I’ve already immigrated here. Now that this has happened, I feel like I’ve finally resolved to live here. So Norn, let’s continue to get along well, okay? Will you stay friends with me?”

I gave my best to show him a smile, even with my face all ugly because of my swollen eyelids. Norn swept me into a tight hug.

Due to the height difference, my face fell onto his chest, and I could hear the beating of his heart.

He said, “You cried by yourself after I went home last night, didn’t you? Did you feel alone and helpless? I should have stayed with you even if you refused. I was so thoughtless, I’m sorry. Thank you for still calling someone like me your friend. I’ll return your words to you. I’d like to stay friends with you. Please continue to treat me well.”

 

Like this, the two of us made up.

I was so relieved that tears sprung to my eyes once again. Norn’s eyes looked a bit misty too, so it was fine.

 

I held Norn’s hand as I led him into the house.

I made us two cups of hot milk with sugar. Blowing on it to cool it slightly before taking a sip felt very comforting.

This chapter was brought to you by perpetualdaydreams.com

Norn began his story, “We noticed the changes in the gate right after you came to this world. When you passed through the gate, wasn’t the journey rocky and nauseating? We’d conducted dozens of tests on the gate, but that never once happened before. When one of our personnel investigated, he found that these changes were only felt on Agram’s side. The people from your world never noticed any changes. Because of that, we were thankfully able to keep this matter a secret.

We needed to do so because once it was judged that there was a possibility of the gate disappearing, after all visitors were advised to leave, travel through the gate would be restricted. That travel restriction could last ten years, or perhaps a hundred years. That was too unfavorable to our world. We couldn’t wait for a century to pass.”

 

Norn stopped speaking, and took a sip of the hot milk as if to calm himself.

He looked nervous, both hands on the cup and fingertips unceasingly stroking the lip of it.

Sensing that Norn was about to tell me something important, I nervously gulped down my drink.

 

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